damn pigeons.

It's not easy being sick and alone in a place that isn't home. Unfortunately, for the past couple of days I have been feeling pretty crummy, which is exacerbated by being in a place that isn't home. Luckily, though, I'm not alone...

Never mind the plethora of family members that live 10 minutes away or people back home I can skypefy, when I'm sick and lonely in Bahcelievler I've got...pigeons.

There is this sound I hear, a hollow soft sound, that never ceases to exist. I hear it every single day, without fail. It took me a long time to figure out what it was, for awhile I thought I was crazy. My week-long thought/question+answer sessions progressed as so :


Day 1
question: Am I crazy?

Day 2
answer: Yes

Day 3
Well, now that that's out of the way, let's get down to business: the investigation of this bizarre sound!

question: True or False. The woman downstairs has a whole lotta laundry to do and she does it...all day, every day.

Day 4
answer: FALSE. Coming home one day, I realized that there is virtually never any laundry on the clothesline of my downstairs neighbor. She's got stuff out there max twice a week. Definitely not all day, every day.

Day 5
question: True or False. There is some private act going on between the man and woman living downstairs. You know, those really old people who can barely get around as it is?

Day 6
answer: FALSE. No, no. It can't be that, it never stops! If it is, I'd rather not know. I'm going to play the denial card and say that it's water in the pipes or something. Whatever it is, it's not the old people getting it on.

Day 7
After thinking it was "water flowing" for a day or so, I was shocked to find out the real answer. I was outside hanging my laundry when I hear the sound. Now, if it's water in the pipes below my apartment, I shouldn't be hearing it outside on my balcony. Then I look up. And I see them...

answer: PIGEONS.



I noticed the pigeons sitting on my neighbor's balcony roof soon after moving in to my apartment. And then, I kept noticing them. Those two pigeons do not leave that rooftop. They are there when I wake up and there when I go to bed. They are there when I'm working and there when I'm chewing food. They are there when I'm reading and there when I'm cooking. They are honest to goodness always there. And they hoot incessantly!



Now, these two birds fight constantly. They fight both with each other and with other pigeons who are trying to steal their roost. For awhile, however, I had no idea what they were doing up there. They just kind of scrambled around chasing each other...hating each other, hating the world!

For awhile, I thought they were building a nest. And then I thought they weren't. Heck, I wasn't even sure pigeons made nests! I mean, for the insane number of pigeons you see hanging around cities you don't see an equally insane number of nests! I was totally dumbfounded.

Then, yesterday, I look outside to see two itsy bitsy eggs on the roof...but no pigeons. Now, here's what I don't get: you pigeons, you never leave the balcony roof. then you lay eggs and you leave? aren't you supposed to sit on your eggs or something?!

Agh, pigeons!



Yesterday, I was pretty sick and a bit delirious. So, I spent a good 84% of the day just staring out the window at this roof. At some point, the pigeons came back. The mama pigeon would sit on the eggs for a few minutes. Then she'd get up and walk around. Then she'd leave. And the cycle continued. Mama bird seemed to prefer to let the eggs sit around in the sun rather than sit on them herself. Lazy pigeon...


Now, these eggs were lain on a slanted roof in a nest that is not so much a nest as it is a lightly placed wall of twigs. At some point, one of the eggs rolls past the barrier a bit. The mama bird goes and tries to drag it back up the roof...

But she can't do it! The egg slips out of reach and rolls down the roof and falls to the ground, hitting the soil with an awful thud-crack. Later, I went downstairs to see the damage. Egg yolk. Everywhere.


The mama pigeon starts freaking out a bit, pacing the balcony. Papadukes has basically been absent for most of the day. Eventually mama calms down and goes to find some more twigs.


And that's where I left them yesterday.

This morning, I woke up to find the second egg was gone. I think it rolled off the roof during the night. For most of the day, the pigeons have been absent. I think they are depressed.

So, those two pigeons I depended on to always be there for me...well, turns out they couldn't handle the pressure.

That's ok, though. Yesterday morning, I opened the window in my front room and ended up with 16 flies buzzing around the couch, keeping me company for the rest of the day. Today, I spent a good half-an-hour looking like an idiot with a couple of towels swatting flies out the window. It was quite a show for anyone who happened to be watching from outside. In the end, the effort to get them out of the house was mainly unsuccessful and the whole thing turned into a fly genocide--these suckers are either really dumb or lack fine motor skills because they are super easy to hit.

Thank you nature. Thank you for the great friends you have provided me. With pals like these, I'm sure that I'll never feel lonely again.